Wedding Invitation
Etiquette
By Jennifer Bertan
When planning
your wedding use common sense! Don't spend
all of your time fretting over the "correct"
way to do everything; simply try and think
through the decisions you make and how they
will effect your guest.
You want
to give your guest all of the information
they need to attend your wedding in the manner
you desire. You want to convey items such
as dress code and the inclusion or not of
children in a manner that is both informative
and respectful, not offensive. With today's
changing families, you may have a question
about including or not including step-parents
or both sets of parents in your wedding invitation
wording.
Here are
answers to some frequently asked questions
regarding wedding invitation etiquette:
When
do I include a separate invitation to the
reception?
When the ceremony and reception are being
held at different locations you may want to
enclose a reception card with your wedding
invitation. The reception card will give specific
information such as location and the time
of the reception.
If the
guest list for the ceremony is larger than
that for the reception, you will want to enclose
a reception card only for those guests who
are invited to both the wedding and the reception.
How
should I properly address the envelope to
guest with children?
It is not proper wedding invitation etiquette
to address envelopes as Mr. and Mrs. Harold
Greene and Family. Children over the age of
eighteen or living away from home should receive
their own invitation.
If you
do not wish to send each child under the age
of eighteen a separate invitation, you may
write, Miss Bethany Greene under the parent's
name. On the inner envelope you can simply
write each child's name underneath the parent's
name.
If you
do not want children to be invited to the
wedding, do not put their names on the invitation.
Any parents receiving an invitation addressed
strictly to them and not including their children's
name should understand and respect your wishes.
How
should I address
the inner envelope to a close relative?
When addressing the inner envelope of your
wedding invitation to relatives, who are very
dear to you, feel free to use the name you
have always called them by such as "Aunt
Debbie and Uncle Bobby" or "Grandpa."
Even though you may be planning an elegant
affair, you still want to display your endearment
to those closest to you.
How
far in advance of the date are invitations
mailed to the guests?
Generally, the rule is to mail your invitation
six to eight weeks before the wedding date.
However, if you are inviting many guests who
live out-of-state or are planning your wedding
at a holiday season, such as Christmas, you
may want to mail them out a few weeks sooner.
This extra time will ensure that your guest
have plenty of time to arrange their travel
schedules.
Now that
many airlines and travel agencies offer specials
to those booking travel arrangements in advance,
you might consider sending a "save the
date" announcement to your out of state
guests and provide them with the wedding date
and hotel information three months or more
prior to the wedding.
What
should be the date on the response set for
the RSVP?
Generally, you should request that the guests
let you know whether they plan on attending
the events 30 days prior to the event. You
will need that time to plan seating arrangements,
make up place cards and give the reception
hall a realistic head count.
How
do I let my guest know that the reception
is "black tie"?
In the past, most guests understood that a
formal event after six o'clock required the
guest to wear formal attire. However, today's
standards are somewhat more relaxed and you
may need to specify "Black tie"
on your invitations if your want your guest
to dress accordingly.
We suggest
that you place the words "Black tie"
or "Black tie preferred" in the
lower right-hand corner of your wedding or
reception invitation. Only use the phrase
"Black Tie Optional" if you want
to give your guest the option of formal attire
or dressy casual.
