Wedding Vows:
Little Things of Big Importance
By Debbie
MacGuffie
One
of the most critical parts of your wedding
(and yet one that is often left till the last
minute) is the actual vows that you exchange
with your betrothed. Some people use the purely
traditional vows of their religious institution.
Others prefer to write the entire vow themselves.
Many couples these days choose to land somewhere
in between.
Elements
of the traditional vow give a wedding ceremony
a feeling of being just that: ceremony. Something
that has taken place for generations and will
continue to be woven through the fabric of
our society for generations to come. "With
this ring, I thee wed" brings an automatic
emotional response to the participants, whereas
more casual, if more original, phrases may
not.
On
the other hand, given the nature of modern
relationships, traditional vows may rather
miss the mark on the reality of what today's
partners are willing to swear to. Be sure
to pay attention to the words of the vow you
will be taking. You may not want to promise
to "obey" unless you actually mean
to do so. Neither you nor your partner may
be excited by the idea that the man promises
to give his earthly possessions while the
woman promises her fidelity —while the
corresponding oaths are left unsaid.
Below
is a sample of a simple ceremony to give you
an idea of the different stages of a typical
marriage ceremony and provide you with a base
to edit and add to. To increase the length
of your ceremony, you may want to include
readings, musical numbers, or religious intonations
between the various segments of the vow-taking
itself.
OPENING
WORDS
Dearly Beloved, Adam and Eve have invited
us here today to share in the celebration
of their marriage--their wedding.
We
come together not to mark the start of a relationship,
but to recognize a bond that already exists.
This marriage is one expression of the many
varieties of love. Love is one, though its
expressions are infinite.
It
is fitting to speak briefly about love. We
live in a world of joy and fear and search
for meaning and strength in seeming disorder.
We discover the truest guidelines to our quest
when we realize love in all its magnitudes.
Love is the eternal force of life. Love is
the force that allows us to face fear and
uncertainty with courage.
If
you would have the foundation of your union
be the love you have for each other, not just
at this moment, but for all the days ahead,
then cherish the hopes and dreams that you
bring here today. Resolve that your love will
never be blotted out by the commonplace nor
obscured by the ordinary in life.
Devotion,
joy, and love can grown only if you nurture
them together. Stand fast in that hope and
confidence, believing in your shared future
just as strongly as you believe in yourselves
and in each other today. In this spirit, you
can create a partnership that will strengthen
and sustain you all the days of your lives.
QUESTION
OF INTENT
Eve, will you have this man to be your husband,
to live together in the covenant of marriage?
Will you love him, comfort him, honor and
keep him, in sickness and in health, and forsaking
all others, be faithful to him as long as
you both shall live?
Adam,
will you have this woman to be your wife,
to live together in the covenant of marriage?
Will you love her, comfort her, honor and
keep her, in sickness and in health, and forsaking
all others, be faithful to her as long as
you both shall live?
Will
all of you witnessing these promises do all
in your power to uphold these two persons
in their marriage?
NEXT...
THE VOWS
