Questions for Your
Officiant
By Lea Anne Guettler
Without a
ceremony, there would be no wedding day. No
head counts... no centerpieces... no open bar.
With just a little preparation, you can ensure
your officiant shares your wedding vision. Here's
what you should ask your potential officiant:
Is
s/he available on the day you've chosen, at
the time you'd prefer?
This is, of course, crucial.
Can
the officiant travel to the site?
This is especially important if you're planning
an outdoor wedding, or one in a special location
like a private home or on the beach.
How
long has s/he been performing wedding ceremonies?
You might also ask if there are other recently-married
couples you can contact for advice, etc.
What
are the fees? What is included?
Some items might include the officiant's services,
use of the site, set-up and clean-up, candelabra
and other decorations, program printing, musicians
and/or pre-marital counseling. These may be
included in one fee, or may be separate.
What
type of pre-marital counseling is required,
if any?
Requirements vary greatly, and can be anything
from a meeting with the officiant, to a series
of counseling sessions, to a weekend retreat
with other engaged couples.
Does
s/he have a standard ceremony? What variations
can be made?
Ask if a sample ceremony is available for you
to use as a guide. If you have any special verses,
readings or music you would like to include
in the ceremony, be sure they are acceptable
to the officiant. Some churches, for example,
prohibit secular music.
How
long does the ceremony usually last?
This is useful when making decisions about the
reception, photographer, limousine and receiving
lines.
What
has worked for couples in the past?
If your officiant is experienced, s/he will
be able to make helpful suggestions about readings,
vows, music selections and even the logistics
of the wedding day.
Will
s/he be available to answer questions or give
advice?
Make sure you have telephone numbers, office
hours and other contact information.
Can
you tour the ceremony site?
You wouldn't buy a house without walking through
it, so make sure you get to see the actual place
the ceremony will occur. Make mental notes on
the size, accessibility, and generally get a
feel for the space.
How
early can you be at the site, and what's the
latest you can leave?
You may wish to decorate the site before the
ceremony, or stay afterwards for pictures. Be
sure you will have enough time for all you wish
to do.
Is
there a place you can get ready before the ceremony?
Even if you don't plan on dressing at the ceremony
site, it's helpful to have a private room, maybe
with a mirror for touching up your makeup and
hair at the last minute.
Is
there a place parents can take their children
during the ceremony?
Kids can be restless and noisy, and having a
nursery or special room available can make your
ceremony more enjoyable for everyone.
Will
you be able to have a photographer and/or videographer
present during the ceremony?
Are
there any special restrictions?
Some sites do not allow guests to throw bird
seed, others prohibit flash photography. Be
sure it's clear what is allowed and what is
not.
When
does the rehearsal take place? Will s/he be
present?
Does
s/he have any suggestions on vendors?
When you deal with weddings frequently,
you meet good florists and see the bad photographers
in action.
Find
Kansas City Officiants in our Bridal Consultant
section
Read
more about the Wedding Ceremony
